I awoke at around 6 A.M. Which was rather early, however you never really sleep when your in the middle of the Amazon, drinking Ayahausca on a daily basis. It’s more of a rest to be completely honest.
I made my way to the main hut as I always did in the morning and made myself a tea. Then I went for a walk in the Jungle for about 45 minutes. Taking in the beautiful surroundings. Listening to the songs of nature. Taking pictures along the way, of course. Inhaling and exhaling mapachos the entire time. It was incredibly beautiful. This really woke me up, and I soon found myself walking back towards the main hut. It was around 7 A.M. Emerson and David were busy working around the hut. I got them to sit down with me and have a tea and a smoke while the current cook prepared our breakfast. We talked about my experience the previous evening, which had been profound. The first true experience that I had ever had. David told me about the first time he did Ayahausca, and he saw his current girlfriend as a satanic demon, needless to say they were no longer together the following day. Emerson shows me his personal batch of Ayahausca that he makes himself. It’s in a small water bottle. It smells INCREDIBLY potent. I tell him we should drink some tonight. He laughs and leaves to help the cook bring the food in. Fresh papaya, quinoa, small fresh bananas and another local fruit. It was simple, but very good. As it always was. Leah and Despina come downstairs. They hadn’t taken part in the ceremony the previous night, preferring to rest, they had both slept upstairs in hammocks, our private tambos were all infested with many different species of Amazonian insects. They had breakfast with me, and I told them about my experience. Brennan shortly came in afterwards with all his bags, fully packed. He explained that he was going to be leaving, although he had a strong experience a few nights earlier, and he felt something last night, he believed something about the shaman, specific Ayahausca we were drinking or the mulacka were holding him back he believed. He said he’d go back to Iquitos and fly out the next day, back on the road he said, maybe he’ll go to Cali and buy farmland. Build a farm and start growing organic food. Just enjoy the simple life. I believed the reason he was not getting as much out of it was due to the fact that he expected too much from it to begin with, and was far more in his mind than in his heart. Also take into account, Ayahausca is a very spiritual experience. It sends you to legitimate alternate Dimensions, heals you on a cellular level and can teach you the wisdom of the Universe. Although it can make you see mind boggling visions and hear voices that are not your own. It’s not a hallucinogenic, it’s a plant that quite literally invites the ancient spirit of “Aya” to interact with you. I apologized that he was unable to find what he was searching and wished him the best of luck. Jason and Andy then came in. Brennan explained himself once more. Andy apologized, he seemed pretty drained that over half the group had left, on the first week of his new retreat, to be honest. Everyone embraced Brennan. His taxi arrived. He left. Haven’t heard from him since, hopefully he found what he was looking for. I went upstairs for a nap in the hammock.
At around 4 P.M. I awoke and ate some cold lunch. Fish, quinoa, salad and fruit. Then I made a tea, and returned upstairs. I read and chain smoked for about three hours. At around 7:30, I grew anxious and went for a short walk, then I returned and talked with the remaining group, which was now gathered around the dinner table. At 8:30, I walked to the hut. I meditated until the shaman arrived. Me and Jason lit incense (to ward off bad spirits) and walked around the mulocka waving them until I was called forward to drink the first cup of the evening.
I drank it all back. The new batch that Andy had purchased the previous day went down much more smoothly than the one the shaman had prepared. Segundo handed me a few mapachos and I made my way over to my bed and lit one. I drank water and smoked, about fifteen minutes in, I ran to the outhouse and purged for the first time of the night. The patterns returned, beautiful figures and images formed in the light that my flashlight emitted, the Jungle was alive and strong, I could feel it within me, one with my being. I was the Jungle I realized. My ego dissolved. When I returned to the mulocka and lay down I felt much more in tune with my physical surroundings, the medicine was beginning to fade off, or so I thought. After about an hour I puked violently. After that purge I felt absolutely amazing, purely cleansed from the inside out. I felt a strong desire to leave the ceremony and be outside, why I do not know. I got up and began walking towards the door. One problem though, my feet felt like they were 200 pounds. It seriously felt like I was walking in wet concrete. Something was pulling me back towards my bed. It took me about three times (returning to rest on my bed in between) before I finally made it outside once more. Once outside, I felt very free and completely at peace. The trees began to whisper to me, everything was alive and vibrant. The sky was a purple twilight, and faint lights hovered in the distance (at the time I thought they were UFO’s. but they just hovered in the sky, emitting light. Either beings of another dimension, or a stationary UFO? Yes I know it sounds crazy mother, but I know what I saw). I walked around the jungle. Hugging the trees, whispering to the wind, just feeling love emitting from my being essentially. It was profound. I made my way back to the deck and my eyes hovered to a distant tree where they did not leave. A beautiful, seducing voice entered my head. The tree began to sway. It was Aya, or another spirit. She told me that I had found my home, because I had found myself. I had always been constantly anxious and distracted before that moment. Yet it hit like an atomic bomb. FUCKING POW. Instant clarity. Instant love. Instant satisfaction. I have very pure and powerful energy, I was told. Healing is the art that I must pursue. Beginning with Shamanism, and working my way around the world learning alternative and ancient methods and healing the Human Body, Mind and Soul. This was my destiny, this was my path. I was here for a reason you know, and this discussion was the most important and profound experience of my life at that time. I began to tear up a bit, I breathed slowly. I was so close to the Universe. I could almost feel my physical manifestation fading away. I lit a mapacho and let my mind work out what my next steps in life were. Stay in Iquitos. Don’t go home on the flight that I had already booked and paid for. Practice Shamanism with Segundo for four-six months. Learn the ways of the Amazonian rain forest’s diverse ecosystem and the many healing properties the numerous plants possess. Or, I could go home. Figure out my debt situation. Embrace my friends and family. Find a job. Love a beautiful woman. Travel when i’m financially secure enough to do so. Suddenly Despina came outside. It’s around 12 A.M. at this point. I tell her that I can’t leave, she shrieks in joy and hugs me. After all she lives in Cusco, I could always stay with her. I tell her that I’ve been called to be a shaman. She’s not very taken aback. She always saw something in me. We sit and talk as we smoke. We walk around the Jungle. Loving it. Segundo leaves the mulocka with his wife. They looked surprised and even somewhat taken aback that me and Despina were outside walking around, but continued on without waving back when I do so myself. Jason left the mulocka next. We all talked about our experiences. Turns out Jason and Despina didn’t get much. I was in the midst of Euphoria, so I couldn’t relate. We walked through the Jungle and grabbed Jason’s bags from his tambo to bring them to the main hut after we noticed it was infested with termites who had destroyed his mattress. We went back to the main hut and made tea. I lit candles and we made a light meal of quinoa and scavenged fruit. Despina started having an Aya experience. As she laughed and cried at the same time I laid her down on a hammock and sat by with Jason as she had what looked like the time of her life! She was pretty coherent throughout the 30 minutes she continued to be like that. Jason and Despina went to bed upstairs. I went back out into the Jungle and chain smoked for about three hours. Some people have visions and become a certain animal. I had a vision where I was the Jungle and every living thing within it. Creating life with an inhale and taking it away with an exhale. After that I went to the main hut and made a tea. I lay down in a hammock and read until I eventually drifted off to the dream realms.
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