I didn’t really sleep last night. I lay in a hammock and drowned in my thoughts.
So much had happened in the last 24 hours alone, and it wasn’t exactly easy for me to process what exactly had just transpired the previous evening. I felt pure. My body was pulsing with energy, my mind with thoughts, answers and questions. I felt more alive than I ever had in my entire life. I finally understood what is was like to be Human. To simply be alive and present. It was beautiful, as clarity has always been one of the traits I have always sought after, but never been able to attain. I’ve always been an anxious, quick to react, loud and downright explosive at times. However it was quiet right now. I could process all my thoughts neatly, and organize them for later use. My brain was essentially rebooting, that’s the only way I can describe it. My head was literally pulsing strongly as I lay in tranquility. I lit a mapacho and inhaled deeply. Feeling the smoke deep in my belly until I finally exhaled through my nostrils. I closed my eyes and did a body scan. My body was incredibly warm, relaxed and incredibly alert. I could feel all my muscles as I worked through them. I got to my feet and for the first time noticed just how dirty they truly were. Rather repulsing to be honest; covered in mud, twigs and leaves, probably some chickenshit. I smelled really bad as well. I had been walking in the Amazon Jungle in my bare feet late into the night. My “sweat proof” shirt and pants smelled like a carcass. I burned my pair of underwear. I realized that it was time for a shower. I made my way downstairs and took all my clothing off as I made a tea. Then I lit a mapacho and made my way over to the showers. I turned on the shower and it doused my mapacho out. I soaped my body, brushed my teeth and dried off. After I got changed I went to the main hut where breakfast was being served. Everyone was already there eating, and I greeted them individually. I put a big serving of quinoa and fruit on my plate and made a tea. The group began talking. Apparently Jason, Leah and Andy once again didn’t feel much. I told them of my new found wisdom and path in life. They were happy for me. Despina told us that the patterns were overwhelming last night. They were hilarious as well for some reason. Everyone was a little bit jealous of her intense hallucinogenic experience. After breakfast I went upstairs and read for a few hours. Leah came upstairs and invited me for a walk. Jason and David joined us. We decided today we’d walk to the closest village, as there was beach nearby. It was gorgeous outside and the road literally stretched on for what seemed like eternity. We waved over an ice cream truck and indulged in sweets, which are not prohibited in the Ayahausca dieta, but for fuck sakes we just drank five ceremonies, five nights in a row, and we deserved some chocolate divinity. We made our way to the village, a town of about 12 huts, with chickens dogs everywhere, as well as the local villagers who were kind to us. We had no money left and the toll into the beach was 1 sole a person. I got David to work his latina magic on the sinorita at the toll box. We got in for free. Me and Jason dived right in the river, which was beautiful. We couldn’t swim out very far as there are some scary fish and snakes in the Amazon, however we stayed there for about 30 minutes just enjoying the day and the sun. Then we all lay down and I smoked until we decided it was time to leave. Me and Leah walked ahead of the lads and talked about our lives. She was a Conservational Biologist and her boyfriend, Tim was a Park Ranger. They worked together for a company in Vancouver Islands, but their work took them all over Canada. She has a Master’s in Biology. She’s an avid traveller, music lover, new age diva. She’s also beautiful, as I’ve noticed for the first time (the first day me and Leah got into a little argument about Politics, and hadn’t been as close as we should have been), and she’s 12 years my senior. I figured I better stop being a horny 19 year old and allow my mind to float into nothingness. I told her of my schooling, my old work, my friends and family. We got along really well and exchanged emails when we finally arrived back at the main hut. It was around 5:30 P.M.
Lunch was cold, however the Fish, rice and salad was still full of flavour. This was our last meal together as a “family”. I was the only one staying tonight after the ceremony, the rest were taking a taxi back to Iquitos after lunch tomorrow. We all talked about life, our intentions for the ceremony and how our experience has been so far. We laugh. We experience sadness and joy. We remember our previous loves, our previous fears. At around 7 P.M. I went upstairs and read while I chain smoked mapachos. At 8:30 I made my way over to the mulocka for the final ceremony. The final experience with Aya this week. I was more excited than I had ever been. My intention was simple tonight. I was going to make a pact with Aya, an eternal connection that shall bind us to one another in time and space.
Me and Jason lit incense and walked around the room waving them around, allowing the fumes to engulf the small area. The shaman and his wife arrived. I sat down and meditated until they were ready. Tonight they were saying many prayers, and the wife was spraying the room with some sort of spray that kept away bad spirits, they blessed each of us with smoke and the ceremony commenced. I was called over. I whispered my intention into the cup and drank it all back. Segundo handed me a few mapachos and I made my way back to my bed where I immediately lit one. After about ten minutes I was running to the outhouse, purging violently and profusely. I hadn’t eaten much that day, so I didn’t know where it was coming from. Maybe this was Aya punishing me for that damned ice cream I thought to myself…. Suddenly the patterns kicked in. The visuals were so powerful it knocked me back for a second. The songs of the jungle animals were greatly amplified as well. I now heard the music for what it really was. It was beautiful, a true masterpiece. We, as Human Beings, need to learn from the animals more I realized. As they are very intelligent and can offer much wisdom to us, if only we truly listened.. After I purged I returned to the main hut and sat down. Aya starting talking to me in my head. We made our pact. I promised her I would not vomit tonight. She promised me I would. I suddenly ran to the outhouse again for another dramatic episode. With my flashlight on the floor of the outhouse, beautiful images began appearing. Ancient faces forming in the sand, vividly depicted and moving. Angels and demons, side by side began forming in the door and the sand as well. They were beautiful and terrifying at the same time, both of them. Their forms constantly changing to whatever they wished. Pure energy. They knew their eternal place in the Universe, and were very intelligent. We didn’t talk. They watched me as I purged, and simply shifted. Lights started shooting all over my brain, a small migraine ensued and an alien voice entered my head. Deep and courageous. The “male” voice began to tell me that I was ready, and that they were ready for my command. An army of golden warriors appeared before me. Valiant and extraordinarily detailed, they faded after a moment. Suddenly my life flashed before my eyes. I remembered myself as a child, as a teenager and now as an adult. I saw the negative and positive aspects of my life, then I saw myself lying on my front door step back in Stittsville. I was lying there. Pale white and motionless. I was dead. I’m already dead I realized. I’ve been dead for a very long time. I just never acknowledged it before. My ego seeped into the Earth. Many aspects of “Brandon Andovic” dissolved. My mind was empty and pure. My belly incredibly warm with healing energy. Then it happened. A faint vibration in the back of my throat. Om. The eternal “OM” was beginning to seep through my being. It got louder. And louder. And even louder. The Shaman and his wife attempted to join in my “singing”, but as it got louder, you couldn’t even hear the forest. The next morning David and Emerson told me they heard me from their house, almost a mile away! They knew there was powerful energy at work. The singing continued. I melted away into nothingness. This was the most holy and profound experience of my life. I was the Universe and everything within it. I was a fragment of the Universe. I was fully activated and aware of everything. I saw the others around the room and sang to them, louder and louder. Until they dissipated. Until everything dissipated. I had just entered a different dimension. I realized that it’s possible to destroy galaxies with nothing more than your mind, you can quite literally do anything with your mind. The mulocka felt like a spaceship that had just taken off, with me as it’s sole occupant. I knew I could leave if I had wished. But I knew there was so much to do, and I must be on Earth for a reason? We’re all looking for our purpose in life. Many of us struggle with the meaning of our existince. It’s futile. What’s the point in life? The pursuit of happiness. Living a selfish or selfless life. Being high or low. There are many philosophies that attempt to declassify the eternal mystery of the reason for Human existence. In my personal opinion, which I’ve realized. We are here because we are eternal. We are a conscious part of the Universe. We as souls are no more than self aware energetic beings. Why are we here on Earth, manifested as a Human? That’s an even tougher question. However it’s one you have to ask YOURSELF. Your true self. We’re all here on a mission in my mind. Whatever that may be. I’ve realized I myself am here as a Teacher and a Healer. A writer and bring of truths. A wanderer if you will, as I belong no where. Yet I belong everywhere. I am everywhere, yet I am nowhere. That’s a good way of putting it, if I do say so myself. I landed and found myself in front of Andy. He started whispering in my ear “Stop singing, your disturbing the rest of us”. It wasn’t his voice. My hand shot atop his head and I felt a surge of energy. It was no longer Andy standing in front of me. It was a shorter, stout shadow of a man. A man who wanted to harm me. The voice shot out of me again. Incredibly loud and full of energy- completely directed at Andy. I took my hand off his head and felt more drained than ever before. Andy signed, “thanked me?” and laid back down. Segundo came over to me and started talking to me. My head shot up on his head. Despina started laughing uncontrollably. I looked over at her and she was quite literally a big laughing garden snake. Fucking love that girl. Segundo took my hand, held me close and began whispering a foreign tongue in my ear. I didn’t understand, but whatever was inside me most definitely did. I was no longer singing thunderously. It was now a faint hum. Segundo laid me down and brought over my puke bucket. I lay down, extremely drained, yet incredibly alert. I looked outside, there were helicopters in the sky? Flying close to the mulocka. I had a sudden feeling that they were searching for me. I was awakening after all. What if I had given some kind of energetic signature off? It may have been picked up by the Peruvian government. I tried to stray from that thought. Suddenly I realized I couldn’t go home. I was free. I had too much to learn. Too much to see. Too much to feel. Andy opened up his laptop suddenly, it was very bright and his face was close to the screen. He looked absolutely possessed by it. Whatever was on that screen was enticing him. It was a complete sign of disrespect. I wanted to smash the laptop on the floor, but knowing that as Human Beings we all have free will, I decided against it and walked back over to my bed. I laid my head down and listened to the music of the Jungle. Andy began playing noises out of his laptop. They were alien, enticing and comfortable. I was eerily drawn to them. Suddenly I hated the music. Hated the laptop. Knew it for it’s evil. It was infiltrating the Human spirit. We were forgetting who we truly were. It was taking away our skills as Human beings, and replacing it with the need to constantly be entertained, the need to never be alone in our minds, lest we actually might “think outside the box”. I called to Andy to ask him to stop weakly. He played it louder. I asked him to stop louder. It got louder. Leah said she’d talk to him. “Andy your disturbing everyone very much, can you please turn that off?” she said “NO NO NO, THIS IS BEAUTY. THEY ARE JUST MANTRAS”. I looked over at Andy. His face was an inch away from the computer. Something leaked out of the computer and fully formed beside Andy. A beautiful, snow white woman with black purple hair and a sparkling crimson dress. It wasn’t a spirit. It was a hologram. It was an artificial intelligence. It was possessing Andy (I was always wondering why he literally spent all his free time on his laptop, iPhone or tablet. Now I understood). I boomed at him in a thundering and powerful tone. “ANDY YOU WILL STOP THAT NOW.” He turned it off, “NOW DESTROY IT”, Andy picked it up and held it over the floor, then quickly hugged it to his chest and lay down. I started sweating profusely. I felt exhausted. My head started to burn up. My stomach started turning inside out. My bones felt withered. It all intensified greatly over the next ten minutes. I can only describe this moment as having felt every form of pain, energetically, throughout my physical body. My mind was thundering with evil thoughts. My blood quite literally was boiling. My insides were falling out of place. I thought to myself “I’m being attacked. These spirits was to fucking kill me”. I breathed and tried to focus away. But it was way too much. I couldn’t even cry. Segundo came over to me after ten minutes and handed me a waterbottle. It wasn’t Segundo the Peruvian though. It was Segundo the spirit. Segundo is a short stocky man standing at 5’2. Now he was well over eight feet. With long limbs. An elongated head and an enormous third eye. I called to him. I needed him. He could save me. I could not stand this for much longer. “Segundo, my head….” I say to him. He sighs, and literally opens up my head. He literally fucking opened up my head. Segundo blows smoke on me and starts playing with the energy lines throughout my body. Segundo finds the spirits in my head and begins picking them out, and puts my energy back into alignment where the spirits had damaged them. After about a minute he’s done. My head feels good as new. I purge violently for about five minutes. My stomach is still killing me. I know I won’t die now though, I just gotta fight this off. I take my shirt off and lie down. Segundo appears over me and begins rubbing oil into my stomach and once again, picking out the spirits and readjusting my energy lines. Guess I didn’t need to fight it on my own after all. Once he’s done I purge one last time. I’m ok now. My body is physically stable. However I’m blatantly exhausted. The shaman and his wife leave. I thank them deeply mentally for the next hour or so. I drink water and chain smoke as I watch my friends and the surround Jungle. I listen to the animals serenading me. I don’t want to sleep however. I feel evil energy from Andy and feel uncomfortable sleeping in the same room as him. I’m also too exhausted to walk to the main hut. After what seemed like an eternity, I dozed off for about three hours..
Thank you guys so much for reading the entire post! I know that was a big one, but realistically it was the most profound night of my life, and there was alot to be said. I could realistically write 10, 000 words on that night alone. However you guys are gonna have to wait for my book for the extended version.
I hope your all having a wonderful day! As always, if you like the blog please share it with your friends, family and social media. I spend alot of time doing this, it only takes a moment to share;)
Until next time,