I didn’t sleep last night really. My head is buzzing with energy. Thoughts float through my mind at the speed of light. I’m questioning everything. Finding answers within. I was no longer the young man that left to Peru over a week earlier, in search of answers. In search of his place in this world. So unsure. So afraid of what the future held. No, I was simply THERE. Completely in the now. I knew my my path in this lifetime. I knew my mission in the Universe. Myself was now who I truly appeared to be. No illusions. No lies. No disguises. Just me. I knew I was no longer Brandon Andovic. That was simply a name given to me by my parents before before my birth. It was the name that appeared on the birth certificate with a large serial code printed beside it. Was I Brandon? Was I just another number that was birthed into consciousness? That seemed how the government viewed myself. Was I simply Energy incarnate, destined to roam a new dimension, as I have always done.. No. I was Being. I was here. At this very moment in Time and Space. The world I lived in was contorted, chaotic. Even somewhat disgusting at times. Yet it was also beautiful, peaceful and full of love. The reality of conscious beings incarnate on Planet Earth was balanced. There were lovely people and evil people. Warriors and Intellects. Men and Women. However, the state of Planet Earth which allowed us to birth upon it, which took care of us as physical beings, provided and nurtured us since the dawn of time; well the state of Planet Earth was not balanced at all. It was tipped in the negative’s favor entirely. The earths resources were being ravaged on a daily basis. It’s animals were being torn apart and mutilated, for fun. for food. for Human desire really. It’s oceans and skies were polluted. The Humans blew one another apart on a daily basis throughout the Planet’s body. All in the name of “national defense”. It’s really in the name of international greed, corruption, and pure power. It seemed to me the negative Human Beings were overpowering the positive Human Beings for control of Planet Earth. At this point their were clearly many other forces involved in this Eternal conflict for our Planet. The “Gods” of old that had given our ancient societies culture, agriculture, architecture, language and everything in between we involved. The E.T’s that many refuse to believe exist of all kinds were also involved. These E.T’s were the God’s of Old and many other species that became intrigued with Human Beings and Planet Earth. These beings are powerful. Some are good. Others bad. They all want to play a huge role in cultivating Earth and the Human race into a Galactic civilization within our Galaxy, and then from there, to expand into the Universe. We are on the verge of breakthrough ladies and gentlemen. Human Beings are more intelligent than we have ever been before. We’re having breakthroughs in science that will literally transform the Human Race and Planet Earth so drastically that we don’t even know how to release these technologies to the people, as it may be so incomprehensible to them that their minds will be blown (the old generations living on Earth won’t even be able to understand Earth a decade from now, as we as a species and Planet will have evolved and transformed immensely, or may they will evolve with us). There are also individuals out there (private corporations and industries IE *Pharmaceutical, Military, Energy (Oil), Agriculture (Pesticide companies) that have made it their life’s mission to no allow these technologies to get to the public. As once we have free energy, organic food internationally and alternative medicine that can cure diseases and injuries in the blink of an eye. Well then all the corporations will have no power. As they have no customers to sell their goods too. All their goods are bloody well garbage by the way. Designed to keep the masses as weak, unhealthy and unintelligent as humanly possible.
Back to my day I suppose, as that is not off topic in the very least, rather very important to be quite frank. However I will expand on that in a later post.
I went back to the main hut at around 6:30 A.M. Emerson was awake. So was David. We chatted about my experience in broken Spanish and English. I told them everything. They listened. Near the end I told them I couldn’t go home. This was my place. I belonged here. They agreed. I decided that I’d write letters to my family and friends. I’d give them to Leah. She could give them to my family, and tell them what came of me. I would return. But now I couldn’t. I had to much to learn. Too much to see. Emerson took my phone. I have photos of my nieces, my nephew and my sister on it. He showed me the photos. I began to cry. In my mind, I didn’t think I’d see them for a very long time. I made a tea. Chain smoked for an hour. Emerson carved my Sea Lion tooth necklace. He carved a shaman smoking a mapacho. This image represented what I had become. I had become in tune. A wanderer in search of eternal truth, knowledge and justice. I also smoked more mapachos than anyone he knew, so he thought that was a fitting addition. At around 8 A.M the rest of the crew came in. We had breakfast. Fresh fruit, quinoa, tea. We talked about the previous night. We were all mind blown by what had taken place with me personally. I told them everything. Leah was scared of what had happened, she felt as if she was watching over all of us. Attempting to balance the powerful energy in the room. She was never able to fully experience what she was feeling with Aya, as she was too engulfed with everyone else. Jason had an incredible experience. He ventured throughout his homeland, traveled local rivers, discovered just how beautiful life was (cause it’s the most beautiful fuckin’ thing in the Universe, pardon my language), he realized how much he missed his family and friends. He discovered he was in love with his best friend. Who was a male. Although he’s loved women before, he said that he’s never felt this way about someone before. I asked him if he would tell the man he loved him. He said yes. We embraced and I slapped him on the back. He told me he thought my “singing” was beyond beautiful last night. He could feel me breathing energy and life back into the rain forest, back into each person in the room. He could feel me breathing it right back into my being as well. Which was why I suffered so greatly at the end of the ceremony. I had invited energies from across the spectrum into my physical manifestation. As a 3rd dimensional being and having never experienced so much energy before, Myself didn’t know how to full cope with the experience. It took Segundo, an experienced Shaman and Healer, to bring me back into existence. As i’m sure that I would not have made it throughout he evening had I not been saved by Segundo. Despina had become a snake. I saw her in that form so I didn’t doubt it. She had been freed from her past bonds. She felt rewired. Andy told me he didn’t think his energy blockage was present anymore (*I don’t know if I forgot to mention in a previous post. Five years earlier, Andy had taken part in a ceremony with a Shaman who worked for the dark rather than the light. Being a Shaman is one of the most difficult professions to embark in. It takes 8-10 years of constant study and practice with the plants and spirits of the region where they are located before their energy is truly in tune and able to work with other beings. Some shamans however, take the easy road. They make pacts with dark spirits and negative dimensional beings, who will give them personal power and knowledge, in exchange for draining other Beings of their energy and vital life force. Well this shaman had placed a block on Andy’s energy, sending it to the Shaman, rather than to Andy’s own being. He had been working tirelessly with various Shamans over the years to remove to block to no avail). I told him it was gone. I felt it leave when the dark spirit had engaged the “holy” spirit (which I saw as God, as a knowing member of the eternal source field) which was within me. The spirit in me had defeated the spirit within Andy when my hand had shot up to his forehead and they energetically battled it out. I also think this is why I was so weakened afterwards and therefore susceptible to dark energies attacking my being. Everyone was astonished as to what had occurred within me to say the least. I told them as of my new path. As an apprentice healer and a spiritual teacher. Andy told me that I should go home and save up $10,000. Then I could come back to Iquitos for a year and be financially stable enough to support myself and my shamanic training. He said I could always go out and live in the Jungle and learn from a Shipibou Shaman personally. However, I’d need to be fluent in Spanish and be tough enough mentally and physically to survive out there for a years time, as it was an extremely draining and demanding period of training. I could break. I could be taken over by spirits. I could be killed by them. I could just go fucking crazy, as many apprentice Shamans do every year. I told him I’d go home and do just that, get back to work and be true to my Being while I am at home. Despina told me she’d stay with me until tomorrow. Jason, Despina and Andy were going back to Iquitos today. They didn’t want to sleep in the Jungle anymore. I didn’t want to leave the Jungle. So we were at quite the contrast. I went upstairs and began to read where I dozed off for a few hours.
At 11 P.M. Despina awoke me. Fish and rice time, as well as fried plaintain. We ate as a family one last time. The taxi arrived. We all walked to the front and said our goodbyes. Exchanged emails and embraced a lot. We were all so happy for each other. I really do love that group of people, even Andy, although he clearly needs to work out some legitimate demons and obsessions. They got into the taxi and left. I went back and showered and brushed my teeth. Me and Despina decided that we’d go for a walk at 4 P.M (it was now 2:30). I read the rest of the Synchronicity Key. I fell in love with “alternative” and ancient science, medicine and ways of life. The novel resonated with my on such a deep level that I knew one day, sooner than later, my path will cross with David Wilcock. When that happens, I pray he will take me in as a student. I know he will. I’m just waiting for the time for Synchronicity to take place.
Despina and I began to walk. I had a feeling that we should take a right, rather than a left, down the endless Amazon highway road that our retreat was located on. We walked for about five minutes. I suddenly noticed a little figure in the middle of the road. Lying down. It was so small and malnourished. It was a little baby dog. I approached it, knowing that it needed help. It tried to limp away but it was so weak that it was no good. When I was close it started to pee profusely. I picked it up and wrapped it over my shoulder, cradling it with my shirt. “Your gonna be OK, little guy. We’re here for you now” Me and Despina whispered to it as we made our way back to the retreat. It seemed to really like me. Either that or it had no energy to not like me. It’s ribs were protruding so acutely. He was so skinny. I told Despina he might not make it. She knew he would. I trusted her. When we returned to the main hut I bathed him in lukewarm water until I realized how futile it was. He hated the water and was so skinny that I didn’t want to hurt him accidentally. Despina found some egg, rice and quinoa for him. He ate all the egg and rice. Turns out dogs are not solely meat eaters. I made a bed for him and placed him on it. Me and Despina went upstairs and talked and read till about 5:30 P.M. When David came down I ran downstairs and bartered with him to keep the dog. Me and Despina would give him some money for the month to feed and nurture the pup. I would write a note to all future residents of “Gaia Tree” to leave some money for him, to care for him and feed him. I would also send money once every few months once I was organized back home to take care of him. David agreed. I hugged him. I couldn’t find the dog for a while until I looked under the dinner table. He was cold. I picked him up and wrapped him in a blanket and took him upstairs to sleep by Despinas hammock. The bugs were all over him, sensing his vulnerability. The mosquitoes especially. I blew mapacho on him (bugs can’t stand it and there are no chemicals in mapacho for you animal lovers out there) and realized that “bathed in mapacho, you become mapacho”. I found his name, Mapacho. I guess it was pretty obvious that the Gringo who chain smoked mapachos on a consistent basis would also name his rescued dog, Mapacho as well. It just worked. I woke Despina and we cooked with David. Beans, rice and papaya. Damn good, indeed. We talked about our Ayahausca adventures once more. David laughed for half and hour when he found out my hand shot up on Segundo’s head as well. We all laughed. It was actually fuckin’ ridiculous the fact that I had actually grabbed Segundo, while I was in space on Aya, in the middle of the ceremony. Segundo told me it was not “God” that had entered me. Rather is was a powerful “chaotic” Jungle spirit. Really what he was trying to say was, you were in tune with this spirit because this spirit recognized itself, within you. It was mind blowing to think of it like that. Me and this spirit were now linked eternally. Now whenever I drank Aya, or entered the trans dimensional state in another way, I would encounter this spirit again. Learn from it, be healed by it, become one with it. After dinner David went to bed because he was feeling sick. Despina went upstairs and read until she drifted off. I stayed awake all night really. Sitting beside Mapacho as I chain smoked mapachos. I thought endlessly that night. Discovered I would return home. Discovered I would learn constantly back home and that my Journey had only just begun.
I looked down at Mapacho. Safe and sound. Snoring softly. At peace. I realized I hadn’t only saved Mapacho. Mapacho had also saved me. I recognized eternal love and peace at that moment. It was blissful beyond comprehension. I shake and tremble with cold sweats as I write these words. I bleed my heart into this page. These words are me. And I am these words.
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