Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Bloody hell, it’s been a while, has it not? I believe in my last post I promised that I would be writing a minimum of one post a day, regardless of how much I may have to accomplish each day. Well clearly, I lied. Plain and simple. It’s difficult to fulfill multiple roles in society on a daily basis, unless you are filled with positive energy and passion. Unfortunately for the past month or so, I have no been filled with either of the latter. As I stated in earlier posts I have began a full time position as a mover (quite literally moving all the items from one building to another) which entitle me working 10-12+ hour days. I have melded into this role, and really disgraced my true role as a writer. To be fair however, I began this blog upon returning from the most incredible adventure I have ever embarked upon during the 19 years I have walked this planet. I was filled with ideas, passion and energy. Every single day, all I wanted to do was write. I felt obligated to write at times, no matter how exhausted I was. However as time passed, so did much of my energy. I began to slip into a persona of my past, my Ego was once again beginning to take hold. My vices returned, and my passions and positive energy left me. My writing began to deteriorate as well as my mental state. Then I began working, and I everyday that I returned home my mind would tell me “I’m too exhausted to write, there’s nothing to write about”. Blah blah blah. Excuses, excuses. After I convinced myself that I was incapable of writing, I’d typically hit the bottle or roll some herb. Then I would sleep and simply rinse and repeat until the weekend arrived. What would I do then? Well typically the same as any other socially active 19 year old would, I’d go out with my friends and waste my time. (I don’t mean this to be rude, however ultimately all I would do is drink and smoke with them, and then engage in mediocre conversation that I can barely relate to, that I really don’t give a damn about).
Last weekend was the last straw (hopefully anyways, it’s not easy to be an Isolationist at this age. Not only is it lonely, but typically your Ego is not the best for conversation). I went out with some friends to a club. My god, was it ever pitiful. The music was awful. It smelled terrible. The alcohol was overpriced. Everyone was simply looking to escape their mediocre daily lives. And so, they go out with their clique on the weekend and engage in vices. The next morning they wake up. Their life is the exact same. They feel terrible because the alcohol (and everything else..) they ingested the previous night had drained their physical vessel of much of it’s essence. Depression and anxiety kicks in after they realize they may have made a few mistakes the previous night. They spend the day recovering, only to do it again that evening. The next day they wake up, the cycle repeats itself, and the following morning they must return to work or whatever it is that they do throughout the week.
OK, I know that may have been somewhat off topic, so allow me to start fresh. When you were born you were pure, really you were nothing but energy that manifested into a Human fetus and then eventually grew into a child, you had no opinions, no preferences. Over the course of your life your ego builds and you begin to take on roles within the society that you were born into. In High School maybe you were an incredible athlete, and you heavily identified with the role of being an athlete, therefore you found the tasks of completing intellectual work rather obsolete, and vice versa, maybe you were an intellect who prized himself on grading the highest and found physical activities exhausting and mundane. After High School maybe you joined the military, now you are a soldier and nothing else is on your own mind. Your passions are no longer pursued, only your service and duty. You have replaced your Being with a role in order to “fit into society”. Very few people in this world truly do what they wish to be doing with their lives. Those that do are the ones that change the course of history and make their mark upon this world. You can either show the world what you know you are truly capable of, or you can slip into the masses for fear of reprisal due to your unique skill set. Showcasing to the world who you are is a very daunting task. The world is very conditioned by the upper echelon. The upper echelon confuses the masses into believing that those that think outside the box are “oddities”, anomalies that do not belong within this matrix. If you have an opinion that you believe to be true deep down in your heart, many people will shun and laugh at you. “That’s not how life works”, “Just do as your told, that stupidity will get you nowhere”, “What kind of person would ever actually believe something absurd as that?”. A few remarks you may be subjected to if you happen to bring your own original ideas to light. However as soon as the media reports on something, it has to be true doesn’t it? After all, our media (which is owned by the hidden conglomerates) would never report on something that is false. Well they will. After all they are simply fulfilling a role. That role has a salary. That salary will only be paid if the role is true to it’s terms (this means that you follow your orders from the top, even if they go against your morals).
So many of us lose our “true selves”, who we truly are as Human Beings, simply so that we may scrape by. We don’t believe that we are capable of achieving that which we are meant to in life. That what we want is simply a “dream”. Rather than following your dreams, you should do as everyone else does. Go to school and fill a role. Start working instantly to fulfill a role. Join the military, so that you may fulfill a role. Let me just make some thing clear. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. To be quite honest, your damn near perfect (as no Being is ever truly perfect), the only thing that’s holding you back ultimately is nothing more than you. If you are unhappy with the role you fill in life, ask yourself “why?”. Is it due to the fact that the field doesn’t align with you even slightly, but it hands you a pay cheque? Maybe you work harder than anyone else there, however your co workers are being awarded for your achievements? Maybe it’s because deep down you know what you should be doing. Do you want to help those less fortunate but your current occupation as an insurance broker is holding you back? Maybe your an artist at heart but the degree you hold is in economics, and each meeting is slowly draining you day by day. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that we all simply throw our disguises (aka our day jobs) down the drain (although I plan on doing so soon because it’s simply too draining and min numbing) however I do think that many of us simply need to take a step back and think about what we (individually of course) truly love to do and pursue it relentlessly. I cannot even fathom the idea of having to work an occupation that I despise every day for the rest of my life simply so that I may retire (live out the golden years..) one day and look back on my life and say “Fuck that was a complete waste of time and energy, but at least I worked hard.. Right”. No, the time is now. What if there is no tomorrow? Any of us could quite literally “die” at any given moment. If that’s the case, I want to go out doing something I love (like typing my thoughts on a keyboard to my incredibly small audience) rather than something I hate (such as moving fucking houses… Literally though. If you can make it past a year in moving, your one tough son of a bitch. Or you should don’t mind lifting boxes and heavy furniture for a living).
Never fill a role is all I’m trying to say people. If you do fill a role, make sure that role is YOU. By that I mean, give us everything you got. All your intelligence. All your creativity and ingenuity. Give us YOURSELF. Don’t simply do something for the sake of getting by. Do something for the sake of happiness. For the sake of love and peace of mind. Most of all, do something for yourself.
I know I’ve taken a long time to get back on here. I’m sorry guys. As I said, the unfortunate role I’m currently filling was getting the best of me for a while. However, I’d like to say I’m back. This article may have been somewhat cluttered at times, however, that’s simply due to the fact that I don’t edit my work. I write and give it to you as it is (and I haven’t written in a while, so… Well don’t excuse me. I have no reason to attempt to pardon myself for not allowing myself to bleed the words I’m meant to. Quite frankly I am the only reason I haven’t been writing. Not because I didn’t have enough energy. No simply due to the fact that I have had a difficult time with my priorities.
Anyways ladies and gentlemen. Have a wonderful evening. If you enjoyed the article, please share it with your friends and family. If you didn’t enjoy it, well then, hey I tried my best to please you. I’ll be writing again very soon.
Stay curious and question everything,