Complacent desecration. I suppose that’s the proper term in which I have been embarking upon. That’s terrible isn’t it? What’s the point in consciously putting yourself through trials and tribulations when in the grand reality of it all, they are completely unnecessary. Hell they can even be detrimental to one’s growth. The answer is rather simple actually. It’s simply for the experience of it all overall. I never thought it would truly come to this as I hastily did up my tie, my sweaty hands fumbling to correctly perform the suddenly complex procedure. I felt rather euphoric but completely out of it. This is the last time this will happen. I promise. My pupils suddenly grow immense and I begin to feel nauseous as I sit down. I can handle this, I’ll be fine, I will make it to meet her, I just need a minute to calm myself down. Just breathe. I suddenly rush to the bathroom and purge my insides out completely. Minutes pass by as I begin to fade out of consciousness and my surroundings tune out.
“Wake up…. Wake up… WAKE UP!”. I open my eyes to find myself surrounded my a desert oasis. I’m parched to the point of complete and utter exhaustion. My tongue is sandpaper and my skin is oozing from burnt blisters. Pain burns deep within me. I try to think of a solution to my current predicament but my mind is quite literally burnt out. The system is rigged and I can never seem to come out in first place within these strange dreamscapes. Reflecting my inner and out worlds I journey somewhere farther beyond in hopes of reconciling with the fragments of my past whom I have shunned and locked away for far too long. Although I know I am strong, I am incredibly weak. Feeble and hungry and praying that luck will turn on my table. So that I may simply find a way out of the dismay that has suddenly consumed me. This is but a moment in time. Simply now. Learn and grow from or so I have always been told. However as the perception of time fades on and my skin and bones wither as I grow old will it be the mirror image of myself that stands out alone, the one that had carved and been bold or those that pity as they are sold. I am here alone, as I always have been. In a desolate and dry daunting place where the light of the life-giving sun is not your ally but your foe and you have not a single way to express your shame and woe, for now that you have sunk this low what is it that you wish that you could have shown in the life that you had before this sudden crash. Although this is only temporary the imprisonment of a sudden life experience can be incredibly daunting and evening scarring. As I attempted crawl towards the crimson sun I realized an ebony moon was beginning to creep up behind me. My soul begins to cool down as my mind crashed from exhaustion. Feral howls of glee rang out in the distant as I lay helpless and most certainly lifeless.
Water dripped gently onto my forehead as I hastily regained consciousness and burst upright to scan my surroundings. A lush jungle lay before me as a gentle rainfall serenaded the primal world into a deep slumber. The trees sang around me as I felt a great deal of tranquility merge with my ever so chaotic and fractured wave lengths. In the distance I saw a pool as blue as a sapphire and shrouded in moonlight. I hastily made my towards it and dive in, cleansing my manifestation of sins and past transgressions. As I rise for air I begin to think of the previous tribulation I had been through. Just a moment ago I was taken by every ailment both mental and physical and trembling as I turned to ashes before the might of the rising sun, a moment later consumed by shadows and transported to a world of intense purity and stillness. The contrast in the two worlds I have visited was rather remarkable. Nothing I wasn’t used to at this point, a nightly adventure within the lucid landscapes was always something that I dearly appreciated. “Wake up…. wake up.. WAKE UP!”. These vivid dreams are always wonderful and full of insight, however they tend to take hold of me at the worst of times.
I awoke drowsily on the floor in my dimly lit washroom, the single bulb flickering in and out of life, similar to my own state. As I attempted to regain my ground I began to smell a rather peculiar scent, it was sage. I opened the door to the washroom and noticed that not a single light was on, nor were my roommates making any noise. Strange, after all it was 8 P.M on a Friday evening, and lord knows the streets were about to burst open with the crowds of the nightly shroud. My door was closed and a light shone from within, a rather extraordinarily bright one, I did not own such a device I thought to myself as I put my hand on the door. The tones and vibrations gripped my very essence as I looked towards the masterpiece that dominated the domain of my bedroom. She sat over on the stool by my dusty electronic piano, playing perfect tones as she hummed beautifully to herself, seemingly unaware of my awestruck presence. I took a single step forward and the music stopped as the air turned sinister and every hair on my body rose. The beautiful manifestation that laid before me moments ago was suddenly replaced by a feral old woman with hideous features who cried out and jumped towards me. “WAKE UP!” the vile woman screamed as she struck my face with a clawed grip.
I awoke to the same room in which I had just inhabited. The smell of sage filled the air. I was sweating profusely and shaking. I walked towards my window and opened it as I lit a cigarette, noxious fumes filling my able body. I looked to the Sun as the songs of birds filled the air.