I wasn’t even aware that I had stopped breathing, feeling and sharing, tell me, when exactly did fail to continue to live?
The life within me had faded to a silent and rare beat, exuding energy solely in moments of nessecity, greedily hanging on to each moment as though it was my last, unwilling to fill the grave at long last and allow the past to be the past.
Certainly the touch of another could bring me to a sudden climax, for it had been so long since humanity and I had found common ground, I began to believe I was separated until the end of this class.
Connecting and expanding, I am an amateur, certainly no master, for time has been moving faster and recently I have found paradise if only for it to be engulfed in a disaster.
It takes a while for recollection to earnestly integrate so that we can examine as of late why exactly we are incapable of processing the ability to conduct the art of Humanity.
A gift certainly it is seen as, for each interaction is an engagement, a demonstration between energies attempting to extract anomalies so that they may better understand the mystery.
It appears that when we forget ourselves, then we are wandering aimlessly, without any possibilities, through a world of instability.
I do remember when I forgot about you and me, it was the same day I forgot about me and you.
Romance becomes it’s opposite most certainly when it is categorized as mere ruse.
Suppose this is the search for a conclusive solution that would allow me to dissolve these mental obstacles that plague my innermost harmony without any resolution.
You see, when a man loves a woman, or vice versa, the entire world begins to normalize, no longer do we falter, yet when the half of a whole dissapears rather suddenly, it can leave a man merely wondering and wandering.
And certainly that is what has lead me to this current disposition, unaware as to how I entered this world to begin with, as the rain ravages me blissfully, cleansing my soul, it is clear at long last, that I am no longer what I once was, that persona vanished, long ago.
Now, with an empty mind and open heart, I wonder as to why I am incapable of revealing the villain within me to the hero that I pretend to play.
After all, the two are not separate identities, on the contrary, neither is truly me, the truth lies in the middle, a combination of the light and darkness, and I understand without a doubt, for my shadows can be rather difficult to digest, which is why at this moment in time, still I hold this ebony left hand, with my right shrouded in flesh and bone, two variations to the same subject.
I pray, as I have, and to no effect, for I am still unable to cause an effect that would objectively relent this never ceasing array of viscous emotional tribulations that protrude from an open wound in my soul.
Infected and festering, it seems this may be the portal in which I must enter if I wish to once more, live.
For to heal is to forgive, and to forgive is to absolve your sins.
It seems that there is but a single path I may follow if I wish to cure these aches that make one feel ever so hollow, and so deep into the crevice I shall sneak in hopes to one day understand why at times I am able to smile when inside I am only able to weep.
All I wish to keep is the memory of harmony, the smell of the sea breeze and the sand beneath my feet, clarity to this ailment and a tonic of something strong and sweet, see, certainly, I shall reclaim my treasure within my keep.
I just haven’t exactly devised a plan of infiltration within my own dominion, for I am a master and a stranger in these lands, and if I shall arise stronger or more broken, this seems to be out of my hands.
All in all however, know that I have always done my best within this aimless test. for I am but a riddle to myself, only once solved will any other be capable of deciphering my quest.
So off I go, goodbye for now. It’s been a splendid show yet I must not wait around, for there is a heart to sow, memories to wash, emotions to stabilize and love to defrost.
At what cost, at what cost, always, tell me what is the cost?
It cannot be great than the price I am willing to pay, to once more taste the truth.
Sending you Light through Love,